I am standing at a cross roads. Should I continue with my doctor’s treatment plan although I am currently “cancer free” or should I take a different road?
Before I reached this point, my days were filled with prayer, worship and bible study, I sought to strengthen my faith. So… what’s the point of strengthening faith that we have no point of utilising? At which point do we stop reading the bible and begin living it? The bible is the history of a nation and the stories of individuals; I decided to write my own.
I chose to make a detour from my doctor’s plans and to exercise the faith I had been building. God made me a promise, not only would I eventually become ‘cancer free’ but I would stay that way. He had already fulfilled half of the promise and I was going to trust Him to stand by the rest.
My doctor did not welcome that decision and my husband echoed her sentiment (in a more reserved tone, but echoed it he did). Now pay close attention; as believers everyone will not agree with what you decide to do when you are exercising your faith. Very often, those closest to you will try to change your mind because they simply do not understand. YOU HAVE TO STAY STRONG. They mean well and want what is best for you but they don’t understand because they can’t. It's not because they don’t want to, they simply can’t. “Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see”. Even married people have individual test. You are faced with a choice; do I trust my spouse or my God?
I chose my God.
I want you to bear something in mind, the reason you have to strengthen faith is; it is always tested. If everything ran smoothly from the time you made and voiced your decision, then there would be no need to ensure your faith is strong; but it isn’t that easy or simple. There is always a test.
My test came approximately 1 year after my diagnosis. While my treatment plan was being devised my surgeon had recommended the removal of both breast and my ovaries; based on the type of breast cancer I had, as well as my age. I refused. I was still trying to hold on to some semblance of normal. Remember, my husband and I had a plan.
At the end of the year 2009 I began to experience some extreme abdominal pains. My gynaecologist examined me and sent me for a blood test which is used to gauge abnormalities/tumour markers. My numbers came back through the roof. To my doctors my cancer had now spread to my ovaries.
I hope you noted my wording ‘to my doctors’ because I refused to accept this as truth. Did I worry? Yes. Did I cry? Yes. But I never accepted that my cancer had come back and had now relocated. I stated earlier God made me a promise and I stood on His promise. Through the tears, I reminded myself (and God) of this promise. As I said, we strengthen faith because it will be tested and this was my test. Do I accept the doctor’s report or do I hold firm to what I believe?
I went to surgery to remove the masses they detected and agreed to have my ovaries removed.
The surgery and subsequent test revealed I was still cancer free.
Can you deny my need to praise God.
… One year cancer free and counting…